Yesterday I said to someone "I'm an artist" and immediately I got that shock feeling, like when you bite on aluminium foil. It took me back to a few years ago when I was pondering on the idea of studying Art Therapy. I did some research and enrolled for a taster day at a university in London.
At that stage I sort of believed what people said about me, being an artist, but it still sounded very cheeky to me to call myself an artist. With all of that going on in my mind I went to this taster day. And did I enjoy it, just should have been younger!
In the one session the therapist read the story of the Ugly Duckling. I was thinking why on earth would she do that? When she finished she divided us in four groups and she asked us to act out, with music, the four stages the poor duckling went through. Firstly it was in the farmyard where the duckling was called names and was protected by her 'mother'. Secondly it was where the duckling ran away and ended up in the farmhouse where she caused havoc and left alone. Thirdly we had to act out where the duckling was cold and lonely. The Fourth act was where the duckling met the swans and she looked in the water and she saw her own image and she realised she is a beautiful swan surrounded by more beautiful swans.
Our next task was then to go to the act where we felt most comfortable with. I immediately went to the fourth act, because I felt at the moment I have accepted with my whole being that I AM AN ARTIST! It was the most liberating feeling. I felt whole, like nothing matters, like I was feather light and so happy. I just knew who I am. A person in my own right no matter what anybody else was thinking or saying.
That night I went home on a cloud with a new energy and a will to live for what I loved so much! Art!